Friday, November 5, 2010
Are We Raising A Generation of Idiots?
The title should explain where I'm going with this..
What happened to a time when kids were told to "suck it up"?
Where did we loose the ability to tell children to " get over it"?
I remember being told that my parents didn't want to hear me cry if I wasn't bleeding. I was raised to believe that a cold wet paper towel would heal anything. We played outside alone with other kids and we were not allowed to be "tattle-tales". We were told to "deal with it" ourselves if we got into an argument with a peer and that if you can't get along then you obviously don't need to be playing. If a friend was over at your house (or vice versa) and you started fighting then that friend would go home.
Why have we started allowing our children to become wimps? Why are we interfering with the "growing process" to the point that our children won't stand up for themselves. I don't encourage my son to hit or fight in general. BUT, if some kid hits my son and he stand up for himself I won't be mad at him. I refuse to tell C that he needs to come tell me or his teacher about every little thing under the sun that happens. I cannot hold his hand forever and at some point he needs to learn to take up for himself. One day, God willing, he will be a full fledge adult. When he is an adult I will not be able to follow him to work to make sure that no one "picks" on him.
We are raising kids who don't know simple life skills. It's come to a point where parents are expecting the school systems to raise their kids and teach them "what they need to know". It makes no sense to me that some kids (teens) don't know how to do laundry, cook, keep their room clean, or keep up with daily hygiene without being reminded.
Your kid fails a test in school. Instead of grounding them and making them study the information so they may know it later on, parents blame the teachers. Your kid doesn't make the soccer team. Instead of telling them that they need to try harder next year or trying to get them lessons if thats what they want to do, we blame the coach. To the point that EVERY kid makes the team. Regardless of skill or abilities. Then, in High School, when they suck at said sport they don't have the knowledge to know they just aren't good at that particular activity. "Oh, you want a new toy Tommy?" Okay, Mommy/Daddy goes out and buys it for them. Why not encourage a reward system to earn that toy? Don't want them to grow up too fast!? God forbid they learn a lesson on life in the real world. Do a good job and get rewarded (its called working).
When did it become okay or normal for a CHILD to have a cell phone? I have no intentions of ever buying C a cell phone till he can pay for it himself. Even if its mowing the lawn every week, raking leaves, shoveling snow, cleaning the house up, dishes, mulching, and so on and so forth. Those simple at home "chores" will teach children responsibility and some type of work ethic. Why are parents so intent on making sure that their kids don't need to work during school? I have already set up people that can "work" C when he gets older. I refuse to allow C to be a unproductive member of society.
C is only 4 years old. It is his responsibility to pick up his room. It is his responsibility to keep his toys up in his room. He knows that I will follow through on my "threat" that if he so chooses to not pick them up that they will be thrown away. He is responsible for bringing down his dirty clothes from his room. When we clean our house, he does it with us. He knows how to dust, load the dishwasher, and vacuum.
We as parents (D and myself) will not buy him new toys for birthdays or for Christmas if he cannot take care of the ones he has. We go through his toys with him and he makes the choices of what toys he wants to get rid of. He donates said toys to others and in return (with the right attitude) is given the opportunity to get a new toy/game/movie.
Kids don't know how to do simple things because our nation has allowed for technology to replace actual work. How is it that I walked up to a family member (12yrs old) who couldn't figure out how to get ice out of an ice tray? Is it that hard? How is it that a teenager doesn't know how to use a can opener?(NBC) And not the one with the motor, the one you have to crank by hand. Is it that difficult? I don't know. Maybe things are changing and I (at 23 yrs old) am not willing to accept the changes?
I make the promise to my child and any future children that I will not allow them to be ignorant incapable drains on society and their future families for not knowing basic life skills. Would you be willing to promise the same to yours?
What happened to a time when kids were told to "suck it up"?
Where did we loose the ability to tell children to " get over it"?
I remember being told that my parents didn't want to hear me cry if I wasn't bleeding. I was raised to believe that a cold wet paper towel would heal anything. We played outside alone with other kids and we were not allowed to be "tattle-tales". We were told to "deal with it" ourselves if we got into an argument with a peer and that if you can't get along then you obviously don't need to be playing. If a friend was over at your house (or vice versa) and you started fighting then that friend would go home.
Why have we started allowing our children to become wimps? Why are we interfering with the "growing process" to the point that our children won't stand up for themselves. I don't encourage my son to hit or fight in general. BUT, if some kid hits my son and he stand up for himself I won't be mad at him. I refuse to tell C that he needs to come tell me or his teacher about every little thing under the sun that happens. I cannot hold his hand forever and at some point he needs to learn to take up for himself. One day, God willing, he will be a full fledge adult. When he is an adult I will not be able to follow him to work to make sure that no one "picks" on him.
We are raising kids who don't know simple life skills. It's come to a point where parents are expecting the school systems to raise their kids and teach them "what they need to know". It makes no sense to me that some kids (teens) don't know how to do laundry, cook, keep their room clean, or keep up with daily hygiene without being reminded.
Your kid fails a test in school. Instead of grounding them and making them study the information so they may know it later on, parents blame the teachers. Your kid doesn't make the soccer team. Instead of telling them that they need to try harder next year or trying to get them lessons if thats what they want to do, we blame the coach. To the point that EVERY kid makes the team. Regardless of skill or abilities. Then, in High School, when they suck at said sport they don't have the knowledge to know they just aren't good at that particular activity. "Oh, you want a new toy Tommy?" Okay, Mommy/Daddy goes out and buys it for them. Why not encourage a reward system to earn that toy? Don't want them to grow up too fast!? God forbid they learn a lesson on life in the real world. Do a good job and get rewarded (its called working).
When did it become okay or normal for a CHILD to have a cell phone? I have no intentions of ever buying C a cell phone till he can pay for it himself. Even if its mowing the lawn every week, raking leaves, shoveling snow, cleaning the house up, dishes, mulching, and so on and so forth. Those simple at home "chores" will teach children responsibility and some type of work ethic. Why are parents so intent on making sure that their kids don't need to work during school? I have already set up people that can "work" C when he gets older. I refuse to allow C to be a unproductive member of society.
C is only 4 years old. It is his responsibility to pick up his room. It is his responsibility to keep his toys up in his room. He knows that I will follow through on my "threat" that if he so chooses to not pick them up that they will be thrown away. He is responsible for bringing down his dirty clothes from his room. When we clean our house, he does it with us. He knows how to dust, load the dishwasher, and vacuum.
We as parents (D and myself) will not buy him new toys for birthdays or for Christmas if he cannot take care of the ones he has. We go through his toys with him and he makes the choices of what toys he wants to get rid of. He donates said toys to others and in return (with the right attitude) is given the opportunity to get a new toy/game/movie.
Kids don't know how to do simple things because our nation has allowed for technology to replace actual work. How is it that I walked up to a family member (12yrs old) who couldn't figure out how to get ice out of an ice tray? Is it that hard? How is it that a teenager doesn't know how to use a can opener?(NBC) And not the one with the motor, the one you have to crank by hand. Is it that difficult? I don't know. Maybe things are changing and I (at 23 yrs old) am not willing to accept the changes?
Wishing to be a "New-Mother" & Faith
Not too sure when it happened. One day while talking about children, it was decided by D and myself that we wanted to have more children. Even just one. So, here we are. A couple months later and slightly depressed about the situation.
I (although I live like a "mid-30s" yr old) am only 23 yrs old. I have had one successful pregnancy/delivery. All tests have always come back normal. Healthy and Energetic : I AM!
D just turned 36. Participated in the genetics of one healthy child. D has a few health problems that may effect our ability to have a child together. These problems have come about within the last 10years.
It would be (what we would consider) a "miracle" if we were to be "with child" at this point.
For a while we had said we didn't want another child. We didn't want to take away from that ones that we have already. I do believe that the majority of our "reason" for not wanting one of our own before was due to our families not wanting us to have more. Sorry if that got confusing. Very few members of our family support or think its a good idea for us to have a child. Thats depressing.
Why would a grandparent not want more grandkids?
Oh well, our decision. We want one. We pray that God might answer our prayers. We pray that any ailments that may interfere with having a child would be healed. We ,as a couple, have faith that God and only God can help us in this situation. And that God will. If it happens to be that it is not in Gods will for us to have a child, that we may find peace in that also. Miracles happen. And faith makes it possible to see the miracles in life.
I (although I live like a "mid-30s" yr old) am only 23 yrs old. I have had one successful pregnancy/delivery. All tests have always come back normal. Healthy and Energetic : I AM!
D just turned 36. Participated in the genetics of one healthy child. D has a few health problems that may effect our ability to have a child together. These problems have come about within the last 10years.
It would be (what we would consider) a "miracle" if we were to be "with child" at this point.
For a while we had said we didn't want another child. We didn't want to take away from that ones that we have already. I do believe that the majority of our "reason" for not wanting one of our own before was due to our families not wanting us to have more. Sorry if that got confusing. Very few members of our family support or think its a good idea for us to have a child. Thats depressing.
Why would a grandparent not want more grandkids?
Oh well, our decision. We want one. We pray that God might answer our prayers. We pray that any ailments that may interfere with having a child would be healed. We ,as a couple, have faith that God and only God can help us in this situation. And that God will. If it happens to be that it is not in Gods will for us to have a child, that we may find peace in that also. Miracles happen. And faith makes it possible to see the miracles in life.
Being The EVIL Step-Mother..
My "Step-Mother-In-Law" (yea, I know..) told me many times that "being a step-parent will be one if the hardest things that you will have to go through. " Let me be the first to admit, I'd put it in my top 5.
Not that its all bad, its not. But when its bad, it's real bad! I wouldn't change it. I love D and his son T is a good kid. My step son isn't my biggest fan. T doesn't like me very much but, I don't believe that his feelings for me were/are formed on his own. I am also disliked by the majority of the people that he spends most of his time around. It doesn't help when his mother ,K, thinks I'm the devil. K hasn't liked me from the moment that she met me. My understanding is that she hasn't liked anyone that D has been in a relationship with. So no surprise that she hates my guts.
I have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in the last 2.5 years. I have been the scape-goat. If you want to know the truth, it hurts, but I wouldn't change it. My shoulders are strong enough to hold the burden of all the blame. I would rather be blamed for things that I have no control over and provide my family (extended and all) with a reason to be such scrooges vs. them take it out on EVERYONE they know. At least their anger and nasty thoughts are all focused in one spot. Right on me!
It sounds stupid to say that but its true. If everyone can just dislike one person together, then it prevents the nastiness from spreading.
I have attempted lately to make amends with my step-son. I have asked that if he has heard something about me, or is feeling mad at me, that he comes to me. I don't know that this will work but it has to be worth a try. According to everyone(using that term loosely), I am the reason that T wont try to have a relationship with D. This is the reason I am the EVIL step-mother. Not my intention but apparently the outcome.
D loves T very much. He also loves C (my son) very much. They are both "his". He is all that C knows as a Daddy/Father. The "everyone" who doesn't like me disagrees with this concept. How can he love a child who is genetically his and love one who isn't equally? If you ask D, its easy. He just does. Those "everyones" don't believe that he should.
See how EVIL I am? I have some how forced D to choose C over T. I have manipulated him to not love T as much. It makes me laugh. Its so ridiculous that I can't take it seriously. I can't hear them say ignorant things like that and not want to say " WTF, Are you serious?"
Not that its all bad, its not. But when its bad, it's real bad! I wouldn't change it. I love D and his son T is a good kid. My step son isn't my biggest fan. T doesn't like me very much but, I don't believe that his feelings for me were/are formed on his own. I am also disliked by the majority of the people that he spends most of his time around. It doesn't help when his mother ,K, thinks I'm the devil. K hasn't liked me from the moment that she met me. My understanding is that she hasn't liked anyone that D has been in a relationship with. So no surprise that she hates my guts.
I have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in the last 2.5 years. I have been the scape-goat. If you want to know the truth, it hurts, but I wouldn't change it. My shoulders are strong enough to hold the burden of all the blame. I would rather be blamed for things that I have no control over and provide my family (extended and all) with a reason to be such scrooges vs. them take it out on EVERYONE they know. At least their anger and nasty thoughts are all focused in one spot. Right on me!
It sounds stupid to say that but its true. If everyone can just dislike one person together, then it prevents the nastiness from spreading.
I have attempted lately to make amends with my step-son. I have asked that if he has heard something about me, or is feeling mad at me, that he comes to me. I don't know that this will work but it has to be worth a try. According to everyone(using that term loosely), I am the reason that T wont try to have a relationship with D. This is the reason I am the EVIL step-mother. Not my intention but apparently the outcome.
D loves T very much. He also loves C (my son) very much. They are both "his". He is all that C knows as a Daddy/Father. The "everyone" who doesn't like me disagrees with this concept. How can he love a child who is genetically his and love one who isn't equally? If you ask D, its easy. He just does. Those "everyones" don't believe that he should.
See how EVIL I am? I have some how forced D to choose C over T. I have manipulated him to not love T as much. It makes me laugh. Its so ridiculous that I can't take it seriously. I can't hear them say ignorant things like that and not want to say " WTF, Are you serious?"
Titles- Wife and Mother
I am a wife, mother, evil-step-mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, "adopted" daughter, as well as many other titles I claim. At none of these things am I perfect. I screw up, open my mouth when I shouldn't, say things I don't mean and make mistakes that are hard to fix. I never claim to be able to act out all these rolls with complete finesse and tact.
The wife in me doesn't always keep the house impeccable. My dishes can pile up, laundry will get washed and not folded (or folded and not put away), my floor normally needs swept, and I could almost guarantee that my furniture always needs dusted. I don't always have a desire to make a good home-cooked meal for my family. I'm not always "in-the-mood" and often time will fall asleep on my husbands lap (always to his dismay). But, I can happily point out, I am always loved by D. He puts up with my pitfalls and will gently wake me to get me to go lay down in bed. I know that if I just don't feel like doing something he wont put me down or make me feel guilty. D has actually gotten quite good at making dinner. He doesn't expect me to do EVERYTHING alone. Our ability to do "team-work" is what I believe makes our relationship work so well. Its that tacky saying from Jerry Maguire "You complete me". As mushy(and somewhat sickening) as it sounds, for me, it is totally true for my marriage. I feel complete and completely happy. Not to mention that he has decided to love me and C so much. C is not "his" genetically.They don't share the same genes yet, they look so much alike that everyone assumes they do.
The mother in me doesn't always feel like making car noises while running matchbox cars all over my house. I don't always feel like getting up to take C to pre-school. Sometimes his room gets so messy you can't even see the floor and you always step on something that will bring tears to your eyes. Sometimes I get so angry I force myself to take my own "time-out". Sometimes I want so badly to just RUN AWAY! But, I look at C's little face and I can't remember a time before him. I can't imagine a life without him. Going to pick him up from school sometimes seems almost dreadful (its so quiet here when he's a school) but the second I see him all is well again in my life. I love getting to see him grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The growth is exceptional and somewhat fantastic to see in person. The way he learns and achieves new success is one of the things that makes parenting (at any level) a joy. C is the reason I live and breathe. He is the reason I fall out of bed every morning. He is the reason I am who I am. Everything else just falls to the side.
The wife in me doesn't always keep the house impeccable. My dishes can pile up, laundry will get washed and not folded (or folded and not put away), my floor normally needs swept, and I could almost guarantee that my furniture always needs dusted. I don't always have a desire to make a good home-cooked meal for my family. I'm not always "in-the-mood" and often time will fall asleep on my husbands lap (always to his dismay). But, I can happily point out, I am always loved by D. He puts up with my pitfalls and will gently wake me to get me to go lay down in bed. I know that if I just don't feel like doing something he wont put me down or make me feel guilty. D has actually gotten quite good at making dinner. He doesn't expect me to do EVERYTHING alone. Our ability to do "team-work" is what I believe makes our relationship work so well. Its that tacky saying from Jerry Maguire "You complete me". As mushy(and somewhat sickening) as it sounds, for me, it is totally true for my marriage. I feel complete and completely happy. Not to mention that he has decided to love me and C so much. C is not "his" genetically.They don't share the same genes yet, they look so much alike that everyone assumes they do.
The mother in me doesn't always feel like making car noises while running matchbox cars all over my house. I don't always feel like getting up to take C to pre-school. Sometimes his room gets so messy you can't even see the floor and you always step on something that will bring tears to your eyes. Sometimes I get so angry I force myself to take my own "time-out". Sometimes I want so badly to just RUN AWAY! But, I look at C's little face and I can't remember a time before him. I can't imagine a life without him. Going to pick him up from school sometimes seems almost dreadful (its so quiet here when he's a school) but the second I see him all is well again in my life. I love getting to see him grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The growth is exceptional and somewhat fantastic to see in person. The way he learns and achieves new success is one of the things that makes parenting (at any level) a joy. C is the reason I live and breathe. He is the reason I fall out of bed every morning. He is the reason I am who I am. Everything else just falls to the side.
In The Beginning..
I don't know for sure what sparked the interest in starting a blog. I've always been one for sharing random tid-bits and facts about myself. Parenting is nothing I'm perfect at. I ask a lot of other parents about situations I find myself in and try (not always successfully) to learn from their experiences. I plan to use this blog as a way to point out (not only to myself but to any other people who may read it) how imperfect I (we) am/are as parents.
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